It's almost 2015! Dreamlines and Pleasant Paths!

 What is it about the new year.... how it sneaks up on us, how it reminds us life moves fast and how it creates excitement, like it has some kind of magic power to increase our chances of making significant and lasting life change if only we resolve to set new goals at this one special time of year? LOL...  Of course we can make changes any time of the year but since the new year does seem to have this sort of power over us, drawing us to consider making plans to make this year better than last year, why not give in and make goal setting happen now at this unique time of year?  


I think it's good to plan, to have a detailed blueprint to take us where we want to go, to help us stay on track and avoid distraction, but sometimes life gets in the way of our well-thought out plan and throws us a wrench and creates a halting, a wake-up call or need to change direction. Having a healthy understanding and knowing life may have a completely different plan than the one we hope for is a good place to be in when preparing and positioning ourselves for all that a new year might unfold for us.  It reminds me life is an adventure... an adventure to discover one year at a time and to be open to all it wants to teach me, to bless me with, or to take away from me.

So if life just seems to happen to us like that, why make plans in what seems like such a powerless existence?  My answer... Because it helps us anchor our hearts and minds to our dreams, prevents cynicism and or depression, gives direction, hope, joy and purpose to life instead of aimlessly wandering and wasting time.  If planning does anything other than bring you joy, hope and purpose (for example if instead it brings things like stress and striving after)... I might  consider why... and then keep reading to hopefully discover a better way.

Recently I've been dreaming up a plan for 2015 and not just 2015 but thinking well into the future too... 5, 10 or the next 20 years. Life goes FAST and I think there are things we desire that God intends we invest ourselves in or he would not have put those desires on our hearts and minds. It's ok to have a plan for life even though it sometimes takes us on an unexpected detour. What's most important is attitude and allowing life to happen. Planning without having a death grip on the outcome.  This year I'm trying to use an idea I read from author Timothy Ferriss.  It's called a "Dreamline".  He suggests breaking down our goals into 3 categories...

1. Having
2. Being
3. Doing

In a second column you might write down estimated costs of these goals and in a third column you would start to write up specific steps you need to take, or a "to-do" list to get you started.

Once you break goals down and write them into your 2015 journal you would visit the dreamline daily or weekly to tweak and make new "to-do" steps. The re-visiting is key to moving the
vagueness of the dream or goal into the essential steps you would need to take to get there and to evaluate how it's going.

The dreamline then becomes our navigator and a sort of prayer list to guide an early morning ritual. Finding a time to visit the dreamline is vital to keep bringing to mind our desired direction. I believe it's good and right to let the dreamline get us excited and to help us envision and enjoy an emotional place of imagining what it would be like if the dreams and goals were for sure being realized and believing that they will be.  Dreaming about your dreamline if you will...  Or in other words just having a simple child-like faith in prayer and delighting in God and a knowing that he cares and will answer and honor our requests. (When you ask BELIEVE that you already have what you asked for and it will be yours... "BELIEVE" i.e., DREAM ABOUT, DELIGHT IN, ENJOY THINKING ABOUT IT AS IF IT'S A DONE DEAL).

We have to believe in our dreams and believe they were put on our minds for a reason. Or we can choose to approach our dreams and "faith" with heaviness, doubt and gloom or even worse with indifference... wondering if anything will ever work out the way we hope. Not sure about you but I'd rather be child-like with anticipation, a knowing and a hope for the best outcome. What do you desire to have, be or do? Have you thought about it lately? Can you get excited about it? Can you get specific? Can you dream and BELIEVE?






Just as an example a dreamline might look a little like this... if
you were making let's say, fitness goals...

Dreamline... In 6 months I dream of...

Having: More muscle tone.  Cost: gym membership, dvd workouts, weight set.
Steps: Research cost, ask for advice about good dvd ideas.

Being: Less Stressed  Cost: yoga class or dvd, cost of a massage.  Steps: register for a class, schedule a monthly massage appointment.

Doing: Run a 1/2 marathon  Cost: race fee, shoes, running attire.  Steps: Find a race in the area, visit fleet feet, join a run club, seek out new running friends.

In the midst of all the planning and consistently praying, journaling and having faith and strong belief... a transformation is guaranteed to happen deep in us too. We become more appreciative of the process along life's journey because we are consciously taking time to look for evidence of answered prayer and we're writing out the details of what we do each day to take steps toward our goals... It's not just about arriving at a desired destination but enjoying the journey in the NOW.  Our plans and dreams matter but what matters even more is where we are at right now and how we feel about it.  

Like we mentioned earlier... If planning and goal setting bring you stress and anxiety I would stop and consider why... This usually happens to us if our focus is only in the future. Everything that happens to us happens right now. If we can't be present and intentionally choosing to enjoy right now, nothing new will ever happen to us because we keep missing out on the now. We will not experience our experiences. Without this focus on appreciating the now we'll most likely only be thinking of the future and feel a heavy striving, pushing, working and stress to "get there" rather than enjoying, appreciating, being full of wonder for the now and relaxing about life. What's most important in life isn't finding the answer or a solution but what we all are really looking for is a pleasant path. We need to make peace with the never ending, ever unfolding path and say to ourselves, "I am in the right place and right time and I'm doing great!.. Where I'm at is just right!.. How I feel about where I am is what's important." Those are the kinds of thoughts that make us feel good and we should want to care enough about the way we feel as one of our most important priorities. How you and I feel is always a decision we make but it takes practice to be present and mindful and to choose joy in each moment.  Be mindful about how you feel, notice the messages you tell yourself and your usual mood on most days. Isn't it true that this is where life is really lived? If you think it through I think most would agree. Wouldn't you also agree that God wants us to be in a place of joy, peace, love, thankfulness, and hope in the midst of all our planning? If your planning causes anxiety or stress or unpleasant emotion and striving I'd back up and examine why. Most likely you are not living in the now but so desperately want what the future holds... Tomorrow may never come so why not live for today and practice the pleasant and easier path of joy, hope and love.

Are you getting ready for 2015? Carve some time out now to reflect and create a dreamline and get yourself a journal to help you record your experiences and use it as your little secret place to unwind, to pray, to focus on being thankful and full of anticipation for each day and especially make 2015 the year you start practicing a mindful awareness of the joy of life in the NOW!

Happy New Year!! 

Stop Giving Up on Dreams and Instead See Them Come True!

Picture yourself as you approach the end of 2015 with every goal you set for the year accomplished!!  Every fitness goal, every financial goal, every career goal and every family/friendship goal...  

Could you handle that for 2015? or... are you rolling your eyes as you dismiss such ideas as completely impossible and not likely to happen?  Why do you settle for believing it's no use and give up not bothering to think through how you might like to see yourself make new changes in 2015? Is it because...

*You've tried that before and "failed"?

*It seems like too much work or do the ideas seem too big to accomplish?

*You have lost all motivation and don't care anymore?

*You feel too old or too young?

*You've been hurt or betrayed too many times?

*You have too much responsibility?

We've all had thoughts and experiences like these and no doubt they can cause us to get stuck.  But how can we turn those huge obstacles around and have hope for positive change for a brand new year?

Ask 3 questions!!!

What are these 3 questions you ask?  Let me answer that after I share 2 stories with you...

A young man asked Socrates the secret to success. Socrates told the young man to meet him near the river the next morning. They met. Socrates asked the young man to walk with him toward the river. When the water got up to their neck, Socrates took the young boy by surprise and ducked him into the water. The boy struggled to get out but Socrates was strong and kept him there until the boy started turning blue.  Socrates pulled his head out of the water and the first thing the boy did was to gasp and take a deep breath of air. Socrates asked: "What did you want the most when you were there?" The boy replied: "Air!" Socrates said: "That is the secret to success. When you want success as badly as you want the air, then you will get it.  There is no other secret.

Another story...
The question was once asked of a highly successful business man, "How have you done so much in your lifetime?" He replied, "I grow great by dreams, I have turned my mind loose to imagine what I wanted to do. Then I have gone to bed and thought about my dreams. In the night I dreamt about my dreams. And when I awoke in the morning, I saw the way to make my dreams real. While other people were saying, "You can't do that, it is impossible," I was well on my way to achieving what I wanted." I took time to see things in the soft haze of a spring day, or in the red fire on a long winter's evening. Some let their dreams die, but I chose to nourish and protect them; nourish them through bad days until they are brought into the sunshine and light which comes always to those who sincerely hope that their dreams will come true. Sing your songs, and dream your dreams, hope your hope and pray your prayer.

If there's no limit to what a dreamer can dream why not give it a try? 

There are a million stories online of people who dared to dream and find out dreams do come true. As you start reading these stories you will find yourself motivated and resolved in your belief that it's never worth it to give up on your dreams.

Back to 3 questions... Start dreaming now by asking these 3 questions... 

In 6 months...

What do I want to HAVE?!
What do I want to BE?!
What to do I want to DO?!

Don't hold back... dream big! As you imagine and envision achieving a goal and get into the emotional feeling of experiencing the dream as a NOW reality you will be well on your way to achieving what you want.  This is what successful goal setters do... they dream, they take action and they stay focused.

How do you stay focused?? Write down what these dreams will cost and what steps you want to take NEXT WEEK to start moving in the right direction. Make your steps practical and do-able. Writing things down, visiting your dreams often and taking specific steps forward will keep your dreams alive. Just like the successful business man..."you will grow great by your dreams."  You will also have fun as you practice your new interest in developing a lively imagination and you will find new inspiration and guidance about how to keep taking steps in the right direction.  When you check steps off, keep updating new steps each week to keep you moving forward. Have fun with it!

Just practicing this one discipline for 5 minutes a day is a guaranteed way to usher you to a place next year feeling surprised that every goal you set has been accomplished. You'll also feel resolved to keep believing in your dreams and to dream new dreams for the rest of your life.

Make a dream journal today and get ready for 2015!! 

The ONE Thing That Prevents Success in Goal Setting

The ONE Thing that Prevents Achievement in Goal Setting

Have you ever had a desire or a goal and instead of it giving you hope or joy it causes all kinds of doubt and fear to rise up? You doubt you'll ever see it manifest and you feel extreme jealousy when others do succeed in developing their desires.  That never feels very good does it?... and it certainly never gets us anywhere either.

No matter what your goal if your belief about it is negative you most likely will not see results.  At least I know that has always been my experience. What I believe about it, will end up being what I experience and I usually just give up and forget it. A grumbling and negative mindset is like an annoying detour that slows down our arriving at a desired destination every time.



















Getting specific... this is what happens 9 out of 10 times with people who set fitness and wellness goals, myself included. However, the last several years I have been looking more closely at my attitude regarding my goals whether physical goals, job-oriented goals, friendship goals, family relationship goals etc... and I am convinced attitude is EVERYTHING!


When we have a desire and our beliefs and emotions and mindset do not "match" the desire, or in other words the goal does not bring eagerness, excitement and hope but instead brings frustration, anger, a stressful striving after or irritating impatience because we fear we will never achieve our goals then we end up defeated before we even get started...we are way "off" and we don't even realize it. In that dreary senario we most likely will never achieve anything. That's why I think most of us never see answer to prayer. We go into our prayer saying the right words but our heart and faith are far from matching those right words. We say for example, "Dear God, Would you please help me figure out how to pay all these bills?" but at the same time our hearts are no where near to believing he even hears let alone would actually answer and show us what to do. We focus on frustration rather than joyfully looking around to see how he might already be answering. I can't help but think about the Scripture that says.. "When you ask for anything in prayer believe that you have already received it and it will be yours." and other verses say...  "Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." And then also there are ideas in Scripture that talk about doubting and how we should not think that we will get anything if we doubt.  What in the world does that mean other than God really cares about our mindset, our faith and our belief about what we are asking for and setting goals for.  If it's that important to him it should be that important to us!!

So how do we get there? I'm no expert but here are some ideas I have tried and am happy to say they seem to be working.

1. Act like the goal or desire I have is already a done deal and it's easy and already on its way... just like other things that are already manifest in my life that I didn't stress about getting... Like the beautiful home I live in or the awesome job and family I already have. I just choose to believe it's already mine. Right now I'm hoping for a flatter belly...LOL...  I know it's kinda vain but it's also about my health. When our gut is bloated something's up and we should desire to change it. I'm already on my way... down 5 pounds this week and feel less bloated. Woooo Hoooo! Gonna keep good feeling thoughts about it and even if I see the "pooch" on any given day I won't stress and go psycho about it. I will choose to see something different.

2. I match not only my belief but my emotion. I think through what it would feel like to have what I desire and then practice those happy feelings as I go through and pray/meditate over my list of current desires.  I know that might seem weird but the alternative is for sure no better. If I can practice things that help train my brain to be more positive why wouldn't I do that?? So much better than wallowing around and reinforcing negative thoughts and habits. I don't want to be about complaining and being negative.

3. I ask... I believe in prayer and I believe in the Scripture that says... "Without faith it is impossible to please God and that anyone who comes to him must believe he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him." and again... "When you ASK... BELIEVE you have already RECEIVED.

4. Visualize the goal as reality. I did this a lot while I was training for my marathon in October. I not only try to feel the emotion of it being real but I also visualize myself experiencing the success. It never failed to usher  me into a deeper place of peace, contentment, joy and excitement for what would for sure become reality in my life. This is an amazing practice for getting yourself out of a slump or depressed place. It really works.

5. Root yourself into the present moment and enjoy the journey. This is the place where life is lived... We cannot bring back the past or experience the future so why stress about it? Whether or not my goals are reality right now I can practice getting centered and breathe right here right now and appreciate everything around me and where I am in life right now. Be thankful. I think being thankful  helps root us deeper into life and life that is in this present moment. I have things going on later today that keep trying to rob me of THIS wonderful moment of writing this post. I love writing and am practicing right now the joy of this moment. When it's time to enter into what's going on later I will embrace it in the now.


I help people set physical goals for themselves and I know and have seen the ones that are successful are the ones who believe they can do it. They are content about their goals and don't stress if the results are not quite there yet... they KNOW the results are on the way... how could they not be? And they celebrate every success whether it's choosing and apple over chips at lunch or getting through a challenging workout. They train their minds to think positive and are convinced the good choices are doing them good!!  It's never an unpleasant effort or striving to achieve. If that is what is feels like for you I challenge you to get easier and lighter about it in your thinking. See yourself now as beautiful and wonderful and the amazing miracle that you are.  Wake up and get a ritual going of asking and believing and feeling good emotion about your desires. Know that what you are doing, the steps you are taking... eating good nutrition and getting activity WILL make a difference. Don't say things like "What's the use? I'm too far gone." etc... because what you say and believe will be.

YOUR MENTAL TRAINING IS JUST AS
IMPORTANT AS YOUR PHYSICAL TRAINING! 

One Girl's Marathon Reflections

One Girl's Marathon Reflections

Why in the world would you ever run a marathon? That sounds like hell! I hate running. I don't run! There are better ways to get your cardio. Every runner I know gets injured. Running is not an effective way to work-out. Good luck with that! Have you seen how scrawny long-distance runners look? Don't you know the original dude who ran the first marathon died? You could die you know!

Everywhere I turned early on in my decision to run a marathon it seemed I'd get some similar response like the above. After a while I just had to laugh and be ok knowing that running simply is not for everyone.  But for me... Well, I kinda thought so too after spending time as a runner in an earlier season of my life and then getting away from it to pursue others ways of staying active. Even so, I knew running the marathon distance was still a dream I longed to fulfill.  I was getting closer to the age I promised myself I would NOT reach before checking this off my bucket list so I decided 2014 would be the year I hyper-focused on this one fitness challenge. 

I know not everyone wants to run this distance but if you've ever thought it over I say if you WANT to do it, you CAN and you SHOULD!!! I recall reading a Hal Higdon book and being moved with the notion he shared that running a marathon "WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE!" Now that I'm on the other side I couldn't agree more...

Everyone's journey is different, but for me it started with making a decision to take a step forward. Sometimes taking that step requires encouragement from someone else who believes in you. For me that person was a fellow trainer, sweet friend, and 7 time marathon runner Debby. She saw the longing in me, along with my fears and doubts and she graciously encouraged me to go for it. "Just sign up for the lottery drawing and if your name is drawn then you'll know it's your destiny!" So that was it! Three months later destiny decided I would be running a marathon. I had 8 months to get ready. Life was about to get very serious.

Debby and me at the finish line! 

Right away I decided to step up my weekly mileage. I became discouraged and fearful to find that running just 3 lousy miles left me completely exhausted. What the heck!! I'm a pretty fit girl, running was never this hard for me before.  I saw a quote that same day that renewed my hope and quickly became my new mantra... "Today's challenge will soon become tomorrow's warm-up." I certainly hope so!! If not, I'm in big trouble! I kept after it and longed to prove to myself that I could rock running at least six miles at a time with no problem!!  Maybe so, but then I started to notice my knees were aching and walking up or down stairs killed me!  My friend Debby noticed me hobbling up the stairs one day and reminded me of the vital importance of keeping the training more gradual.

"If you feel pain you gotta back off!" 

 "Don't risk getting injured because then you're out!" 

"You have plenty of time to work up to those longer runs... 

trust me!" 

She was absolutely right!! Running should be a gradual thing never something you push yourself beyond what you are ready for. Respect your limits and be encouraged that your body can and will do more in the future as a result of what you ease your way into doing today.

  What I do today will determine what I CAN AND WILL do tomorrow. (Mantra number 2).

One of the reasons I started at all was to see what I could train my body to do... The potential of the human body amazes me, but if I ever wanted to see progress I would need to back up and train it right and respect it's present limits. I was getting ahead of myself and getting discouraged! Instead I started feeding my mind to believe that the present training effect would progressively be the key to carry me to the next level. Every run would prepare me for the next.




I quickly began to understand that my mental training was just as important as my physical training. Maybe even more so! I've always been a contemplative and deep thinking person so I really resinated with authors who spoke about practicing mindfulness techniques as a vital part of the running discipline.  I was intrigued with ideas about visualizing. To successfully be in it for the long haul they suggested visualizing yourself going there, and to accompany the visual practice with emotional feelings.  Emotionally feel yourself experience any and every positive good feeling associated with accomplishing the goal.

Me choosing happiness in China town.

I decided to try practicing this idea on and off the road. Out on the road I was floored to find that EVERY time I began to feel pain or fatigue and would choose to dismiss it and instead to try thinking about a warm, healing sensation, or to just change my attitude, smile, and get happy about it.  Nine out of ten times, I swear the pain would subside... or maybe areas of my body would just go numb after realizing I wasn't giving up. Whatever it was, the "coincidence" of mindful intentionality and the renewed strength I experienced was my reality!! It worked! So the practice for me was a keeper!

"Believe that success is your only option!"
(mantra number 3).

A few weeks into the bulk of the training the reality of the hard work required smacked me hard in the face. You would have seen me crying on the trail often. I wondered if there was ever a time when the training might be too much?  Reading books on the subject always kept me motivated!  One author said.. "You gotta let your muscles know who's boss!!" I totally agreed, then he also said,  "...at the same time you gotta know how to listen carefully too... " I was encouraged to learn it's a give and take, a balancing strategy that takes precisely the right amount of discernment to know when you have tipped the scale just slightly beyond your training threshold. Pain is needed! But just enough to slightly pass your present threshold. Don't push past this in training. The only time you would push past it is on race day. You gradually inch your training up to 18-20 miles, then race day is when those last 6.2 miles requires grueling it out, digging in, and getting mad as you stare down the miles and believe you can get it done!!   In training I discovered~

"Pain is inevitable, misery an option."No more crying!! 

(mantra number 4).

Along with all the hard work became the importance of recovery. Doing what I could to speed up recovery would become a vital part of the training. Eating enough protein and carbs, resting and napping after a long run, ice packs on sore knees and hips, a therapeutic massage, a session with a chiropractor, foam rolling, yoga stretching, getting in the pool and even a few trips to a physical therapist were all ways I decided I would invest in pursing strong recovery periods.  I used my recovery times as an opportunity to take it all in~ to celebrate success, to treat myself special, reward hard work and to find the balance between hard work and appropriate rest.

Deeper into the training I unfortunately ran into personal life drama and almost dropped out and abandoned my dream of accomplishing the marathon distance. But how could I do that? By that time running had become as therapeutic as a good friend. It helped me escape the stuff of life in a healthy way. Life can be hard and bad things can happen. I gave myself permission instead to keep carving out the time to let go for a while and use it as a outlet for stress.   It helped me clear my mind and fill up with present moment awareness.  I discovered life is lived in the present moment with running. There is no past or future to think or worry about. I thought only of this step, this mile, this moment and I wanted to appreciate everything around me and everything in me. From the feel of the pavement under my feet, to the friends and strangers surrounding me, to the feel of deep breathing and the strength of muscles and bones working hard, to the little critters that dart in and out of the bushes along the trail and people's dogs that look up with longing as they pass by. Sometimes petting the dogs was a good excuse too... to stop for a little break.  There was nothing like it when I felt I was in my groove during a run with deep mindful appreciation.

Debby, me and Grace after our 16 miler!

Speaking of friends... I was amazed at how much quicker and easier a long run became when accompanied by friends.  Without Debby and Grace kicking me in the butt like only friends can I'd have been cheating myself for sure! Even getting "likes" on a simple Facebook status update about my running filled me with hope.  Since I was experiencing how good and empowering it was to be encouraged why would I ever hesitate to give it out? I seriously found the more I intentionally gave it out the more it seemed to come back to me.  Not only my friends but complete strangers on the trail week after week just simply acknowledging my presence out there with them filled my heart with strength. Encouragement is something I think the running community just seems to get and know about each other. We're out there together and we understand the pain and challenge this running journey is all about. We send out good vibes to each other and somehow it helps! Send out your good vibes!! We need each other!

Grace and I on race day waiting in the crowd.

Encouragement especially displayed itself like a grand finale on race day!!  There is nothing like the excitement and the strength of the people cheering you on the entire way if you choose to run the Chicago Marathon!! Holy cow!! That love will carry me all year!

Seeing my family at the finish! Best feeling ever!! 

Most of all I found running to be a journey of discovery. Several times I found myself stressing and getting obsessed with the training schedule. When that happened the joy in it would dry up and it would become a struggling effort toward a bothersome task rather than a joyful journey towards faith in what was for sure (as Debby said) "my destiny."Ha Ha!  It reminded me that, similar to most things in life, the training schedule was not meant to be obsessed over but was a guide that is meant to help me find the way. Taking it literally and becoming obsessed with one right way to do something would most likely just get me in trouble and become burdensome. It's a journey... MY journey and I could decide to tweak whatever was necessary to help find the perfect experience for me!  It became an art not a science. I was amazed that my friend Debby decided to back way off in her training about 6 weeks out before the race. "Are you sure?" I would ask... She had a nagging pain in her hip and she all but stopped running for 3 weeks. She knew all about what she needed in her journey and she confidently used the wisdom she knew about training as a guide not an absolute in avoiding injury and successfully completing her race. Learning this helped me relax more and back off too when I suffered my own hip and knee issues.

Crossing the finish line was better than I imagined!

Lastly, I knew if I wanted to cross the finish line successfully on race day I'd have to want it bad enough. Life is hard and busy and sometimes makes the training process difficult to stay committed to. It's so easy to just give up.  The marathon was my main goal for the year and even though some thought it not worthy of being a goal, I felt differently about it. I knew it would change my life and be worthy of accomplishing! I had to rearrange things, say no sometimes, and order other things to make space for what I needed to do. In other areas of life it's the same way... I have to decide what I really want to do and consider how it might change my life for the better, then hyper-focus there and not allow the tyranny of the unimportant or other peoples' different opinions to cloud my vision of what I decide to do. It taught me to be more intentional to dig deep and always be in tune with what's going on in me, to set a goal and to be ok with going for it before life slips away. 

I had so much fun setting the marathon as my goal this year, so much that I want to set another goal for next year.  Do you have a goal for next year?? I have a few ideas brewing and can't wait to get started!!

Heaven Is Really Just About Wearing a New Pair of Glasses

Do you ever wake up after a good work out the day before and suddenly feel it could very well be your 90th birthday? Aches, pains and soreness everywhere! Not just a good, normal sore that you actually enjoy having after a workout, but the kind of soreness that no longer feels quite right and leaves you wondering whatever happened to the idea that working out was suppose to make you feel better, infused with life, refreshed, more functional in daily life and not like a rickety and feeble 90 year old. 

I recently felt this way a few weeks back. Plopping down to re-group for my next client one day I found new questions beginning to pester me...  "Why am I so incredibly sore?... It's not like I've made drastic changes in my workout routine? Maybe it's old age setting in? Is there ever a point one gets too old to workout?"

I fumble around with these thoughts along with interesting feelings of anger, and denial and I notice my attempts to replace the thoughts and distract myself with busy work.  What is it with me and getting older?  I do admit it's not something I want to experience, but he big question know I need to ask myself is WHY??? And so I do.

I thought of the obvious reasons... wrinkles, gray hair, the possibility of being less active and gaining weight, loss of memory and brain function, etc.. etc... Those reasons really do stink and so I gave myself permission to say so. Then in an attempt to settle my mind on something better I remembered some insight I recently read about this inevitable fate of us all... 

The author of the book I am presently reading paints a picture of herself at a beach (she's my age and she too can hardly bring herself to admit she's knee deep in her middle age).  She candidly talks about a mild case she has... what she calls "Butt Mind"... It's when she goes through periods, especially now that she is in middle age, of comparing her butt to everyone else's butt and that she especially agonizes and struggles over it when she finds herself at tropical beaches because she almost always comes up with a "worse than" kind of butt than everyone else in her never ending comparisons.

She shares how it all started on one occasion. She found herself in heavy "Butt Mind" while on the plane to another tropical beach destination.  Teenage girls were everywhere on this flight with their tiny shorts, youthful glow and stunning physical appearance. She caught herself going there but then tries to quickly remind herself of what she believes at a deeper level... "that a person being herself is beautiful-- that contentment and acceptance and freedom are beautiful and that heaven is really just about wearing a new pair of glasses".  She tried to remind herself to spend less time thinking about what she sees and more time thinking about why she sees it that way.  When she arrives at her destination she determines to live this kind of freedom out loud and decides not to wear a coverup over her swimsuit as she ventured out to the beach one day. In her book she quotes... "I had decided I was going to take my thighs and butt with me proudly wherever I went."

She shares about the first girls she saw on the beach.  "They were young, nine or ten years old, enjoying splashing and playing... fearless, unself-conscious and lovely!  Not yet affected by the obsession of what they don't have and forgetting what they do have. They played freely without a thought about their flaws, not yet measuring or comparing and still able to get caught up and lost in everything around them with awe and innocence."

The second group of girls (like dogs from hell, she said... lol)... were four teenagers who ended up waiting for the same bus as she. As she found herself in their company she immediately felt less than, and the fact that they looked at her, and then at each other with amusement... well let's just say her initial thought wasn't very nice... But then her heart softened she says... "I felt deep compassion for them: I wanted to tell them the good news-- that at some point you give up on ever looking much better than you do. Somehow you get a little older, a little fatter and you end up going a little easier on yourself. Or a lot easier... Ugliness is creeping around in fear. Beauty is simply being loyal to yourself."

So that's it!  The insight that I think has set me free from the ugliness of the fear of middle age creeping around me is the idea of being loyal to myself!  Being happy with who I am.. not that I haven't been happy with me but I guess I haven't been happy with who I may become...THE UNKNOWN!!!  I have feared who I may become in middle age and old age. Instead, I determine when I see who I am becoming that I will not judge my aging body so harshly and torture myself by playing the "Mind Butt" game (c'mon, you all know you do it too!) but instead to be gentle with myself and my new changes... to be like the nine and ten year old girls who aren't so self aware and who get lost in moments and the wonder surrounding them... and also to cherish and spoil myself as I age as if it's something to celebrate... maybe getting caught up in slathering myself with a new divine smelling lotion or enjoying wearing a new T-shirt that makes me "feel sexy and free"(LOL) or maybe trying a new shade of lipstick... you know-- a kind of honoring myself and the new season that approaches and the changes that come. Not doing all this because I'm ashamed and trying to cover up or in an attempt to numb some kind of pain, but doing little celebratory things because who I am in every season is worthy of love and joy and celebration... and pampering!!!  No harsh judging, comparing, or belittling because I recognize that it's a beautiful process. 

"Sometimes (author of my book says)... you tend to your spirit through your body... you start with the outside and you get it right."

Number One Ingredient for Success!

My first response is usually frustration when my children don't measure up to my expectations. But this morning when my son missed the bus AGAIN something inside me, almost like an invisible shield stopped me in my tracks warning me of the terrible mistake I'd make and great opportunity I'd miss if I chose to have a knee jerk response. I took a deep breath and  wondered how things were going for him in general. I knew he had had a couple rough days recently and that with busy schedules I hadn't had much connecting time with him. So with a sincere desire to simply connect with him I decided not to lecture and nag but to calmly let him know I would be happy to take him to school.

Our conversation on the way to school revealed he has been struggling in his first hour chemistry class. We talked about his patterns of the past and his tendency to shut down when overwhelmed. It was a great opportunity to bring up and offer him some ideas I have been using which I've found to be extremely helpful in just about any area of life... 

Watching my son grow up one thing that I know, that I know, that I know about him is he has incredible potential! The way this kid can focus and get determined is amazing. His problem like most of the rest of us is buried deep in his "mental models". Mental models shape every aspect of our lives. Most of us don't think big enough.... our mental models of the world stop us. 

I tried to share with my son that he needs to move beyond his limited thinking that chemistry is just too hard. "Don't you remember".... I reminded him, "when you first started driving how nervous you were and how you kept telling yourself... 'I can't do it'. When I told you it was all in your head and instead to begin believing in yourself by being convinced that driving was no biggie and of course it's something you can do... it was then that you were able to relax about it and start to improve! Look at you now.... confidently driving by yourself all because you dismissed negative thoughts and replaced them with a successful vision of yourself driving and a mental model that ushered you into a better place."

Let's think it through. Isn't the key to attaining what you want mostly about desire. For my son... I asked him do you really want to pass chemistry? He does...cool. The next step is developing the confidence and the will to get it done. Get the right mental model about it... Feeding a negative thought process is what limits us, brings failure and frustration. There's an energy, I believe, that we emit though our thoughts and feelings that will attract corresponding circumstances. If my son resorts to believing he isn't smart enough for chemistry chances are he'll fail. I encouraged him to change that thought and envision himself confident about mastering the concepts and doing whatever it takes to ensure his own success. Not only to envision it but imagine and allow himself to feel the emotions that accompany his ability to succeed. 

Doesn't the Bible admonish us to THINK about everything that is good, right, excellent, and true and urges us to believe and have faith? Why? Because that is where life is lived. In our thoughts and our beliefs about the way it is.... What we think, we will be... It seems pretty simple to me. 

Have you ever been around a negative, faith-less person? Can you feel the negative toxicity all around them... Don't they almost emit a bad energy that is almost contagious? Pretty soon you begin complaining along with them. Most of the negative things they moan about end up manifesting in their lives because that is what they choose to focus on, what they choose to expend energy on. They allow their fear to guide their lives... But find yourself in the company of a positive, humble, peaceful and faith-filled person and the energy you feel from them immediately fills you with life, hope and desire to get after life with the same peace, humility and faith.

I shared a story with my son... I was faced with a challenging class in college... English Literature. I had never read such high level books before and was really struggling wrapping my brain around the language. I failed the first exam, as the teacher passed back the exams he shared his concerns and reminded everyone of the option of dropping the class before it was too late. I knew he was talking to me and I found myself after class in a bathroom stall crying because I did not want to give up. I determined on my walk back to my dorm room I would not give up and all I needed to do was to change my thinking... I could not waste time on negative self-defeating thoughts but filled my mind with confident, believing determination. I can grasp the ideas in this book and I will finish strong! I worked harder in that class than probably any other class in my four years of college an ended up with a "C"... a "C" I was very proud of!!  I believe the professor passed me mainly because he sensed my determination and tenacity to not give up and rewarded me for it. Or maybe he just felt sorry for me... ha! ha! But hey, there's no denying I pushed through because of right thinking and I passed!!! I envisioned future success and made it happen.  

Do you believe the circumstances in your life right now are a direct result of the way you think? Change your mind and change your world. The direction we are headed can be 
altered. What do you want to do or be or have? Can we attract those realities in life by developing the right mental model? 

In the Bible Jesus says some peculiar things...  In Mark 11:22 he says... "Listen to me! You can pray for anything , and if you believe, you will have it." He also says if we have faith as small as a mustard seed we can say to a mountain throw yourself in the sea and it will obey.  It seems a little impossible right?  The emphasis I think he's trying to get across is "faith"... When we pray we have taken the time to bring to mind what we desire/need and then we present it to God in prayer... but it can't stop there. We have to believe in what we desire and have faith and determination that what we ask for is already ours. (Jesus words, not mine!) Our lack of faith and negative thought process will only delay life circumstances from lining up according to our desire/need. When we are unbelieving and full of fear and negativity that's what we attract into our lives because that's what we expend energy on! WHY?? Seems ridiculous.  Jesus also said over 300 times DO NOT FEAR!!! Why not expend energy on what is true, right, noble, excellent and praise worthy and attract those things into our life instead?  It just makes sense!  What we think is what we are... Romans 12:1 says "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world but be TRANSFORMED BY THE RENEWING OF YOUR MIND". Think right and live right!  Change your thoughts and change your world!  

Do Carbs Make You Fat???

Everyone knows that eating carbohydrates makes you fat.  Right?  Is this really true?  What if you could stop thinking so much about the amount of carbs you eat and could still manage not to get fat?  Is it possible?

When we eat carbs we release a hormone called insulin.  Insulin is released to help keep the body's blood sugar at bay.  What we want to happen is for our body to be able to clear the sugar quickly from the blood stream and shuttle it to be stored in muscle tissue to be used as energy instead of being stored as fat.  Unfortunately the exact opposite happens for many, many people.

WHY?

Because so many people eat a horrible diet consisting of PROCESSED carbs.  Eating processed carbs (most anything packaged or white) leads a person to becoming very insensitive to insulin, resulting in the body's inability to clear away sugar in the bloodstream quickly so that it can become stored in muscle tissue and used as energy. When the body becomes insensitive to insulin it will most likely lead to a health derailing nightmare.  

Insulin resistance is a condition that causes the body to no longer effectively remove sugar from blood which leads to a huge reduction in the body's ability to burn fat and a huge increase in the body's ability to store fat and ultimately to develop type 2 diabetes. The body has a hard time burning fat in the presence of insulin so the less insulin in the bloodstream the better.  You want your body to secrete a minimum amount of insulin, to be highly sensitive to insulin so that only small amounts are needed to clear sugar after eating carb meals.  When your body stores carbs in muscles to be used as energy and not to be stored as fat it's called maximum glycogen uptake. 

So your body's ability to tolerate carbohydrates comes down to your insulin sensitivity and your body's ability to quickly and efficiently shuttle carbs to lean tissue and not to fat stores.  When it is shuttled to muscle it will be used as energy, when shuttled to fat store areas it makes your body mushy, icky, flabby and horrifically unhealthy!

HOW DOES ONE INCREASE INSULIN SENSITIVITY?

 One way is to lower your carb intake for a good amount of time (6 months to a year or even 2 years) to repair your insulin receptors.  Eat a GOOD SOURCE of carbs (spelt bread, oatmeal, brown rice, any veggie) with a protein in the morning for breakfast and do some physical activity within one hour after eating your breakfast. Your body will use the carbs you have eaten for energy when you strategically plan to workout after eating.  Then have a few more good sources of carbs after your workout.  (If your body fat is over 25% eliminate the carbs after the workout until you reduce your body fat to 20%).  At lunch and dinner eat only protein sources and vegetables!!! 

Also cutout fructose from your diet... I do not believe that pure starch (carbs) is the sole cause of insulin resistance. If that were the case then wouldn't Japanese people be the most obese people in the world?... Every meal they eat includes pure starch... RICE!  What is missing in their diet is SUGAR!  It's the inordinate amount of sugar we eat with our crappy carbs in the U.S that causes insulin resistance... not carbs. 

Please get rid of high fructose corn syrup, sweetners, sugar, dried fruit, smoothies, and even fruit juice. Limit your actual fruit intake to 1-2 pieces a day in the morning!

Eliminate all trans-fats and hydrogenated oils!  It causes you to store belly fat and is also a huge culprit to developing insulin resistance.  

Improve your omega 6:3 balance... Eat wild fish, avacados, eggs, and don't use oils high in omega 6 like corn oil, safflower oil, sunflower oil and fried foods. 

Drink Green TEA and use CINNAMON!!!  Helps divert carbs towards muscle cells and away from fat cells.

When your body fat reduces to less than 20%, and you will get there if you follow the above combined with an effective strength training and cardio conditioning program, that's when you can and should increase your carb intake making it a consistent part of your diet. It's at this point your body will become more efficient at using carbs as energy and it becomes safer and smarter to consume them.  Keep a high amount of protein combined with a moderate level of carbs and ALWAYS ALWAYS stay away from processed carbs and eliminate sugar from your diet because we want to create a bodily environment that will use insulin as a huge asset to our transformation goals and not as something that will derail our goals.  You can do it!  Start today!