Treasure Hunts

I love a quiet morning... space and time to stop, to put aside the whirlwind of life's demands and settle into deep, reflective places.

This morning I glanced at a wall hanging in my bathroom that says... "Treasure the small things life gives you." A background of lilacs embelishes the print. It reminds me of a bush that blooms stikingly fragrant, deep purple lilacs right outside the front window of our house. Every Spring I throw open the windows and enjoy the way the fragrance wafts through and envelopes each room of the house.

Experiencing my Spring time, lilac-scented breeze reminds me to stop and appreciate the "little things" Gods sends as gifts and reminders of his joyful delight in me... a delight that runs so deep He would even think of a detail like showering me with the divine scent of lilac each Spring. It's a thought like that that jump starts my determination to go on a treasure hunt all day searching for the "small thing" God gives to reveal His love... if I will just pay attention.

Instead of seeing my dog as a inconvenience and in the way as I so often do, I could choose instead to bend down and enjoy the touch of his soft fur, sweet wagging tail and the way he is always so excited to see me. To consider it a reminder that life experiences have gems of blessing if I take the time to look beyond my natural tendency to be selfish, annoyed and easily distracted by "more important" things.

In the Lord's prayer Jesus prays... "...Your Kingdom come Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven." It's my own belief that heaven will be a place absent of rushing about (because there will be no time...right?) and instead a place of recognizing and enjoying the blessings that are there. I won't be selfishly overlooking the very beautiful thing God places in my path to bring refreshment and joy. It is my desire to live that way NOW too... "on earth as it is in Heaven"... unrushed, noticing the beautiful, stopping to recognize each opportunity, each relationship, each chance to be helpful to someone in need, even the work I have to do as a blessing straight from God's hand.


I love the Book of Ecclesiastes. It depcits very normal goings on as directly from God and His attempt at getting us to enjoy the simple delights of life as His gift. It's a place we can see God's heart for the everyday and normal as great blessings to enjoy and revel in rather than overlook. So what is it for you? Don't let the ordinariness of life deceive you into settling into a thankless miserable mindset. Instead might we see the gem that is there and thank God we have eyes to see and ears to hear what's all around.

Eccl 5:18-20
It is good for people to eat well, drink a good glass of wine, and enjoy their work-- whatever they do under the sun-- for however long God lets them live. And it is good to receive wealth from God and the good health to enjoy it. To enjoy your work and accept your lot in life--that is indeed a gift from God.



Be FREE and light!

Donna

Is Trouble a Blessing?

"WOW!" I said out loud as I sat dumfounded sipping tea with my husband at Jamani Java the other day. A flood of thoughts poured into my mind that brought a new revelation about something I have been struggling with recently. My thought process was like this...

Having right thinking is vital in anything I do, any goal I have or any longing to make a situation better. When I feel badly about a situation it profoundly effects how I think about almost everything else in life.

I continued to roll these ideas around in my head and even thought about my last post...

On days when I especially don't feel like exercising, so many times I simply change my thinking and fill my mind with everything that is good about exercising and soon I am ready to not only get out for my daily run but to add an extra mile and push myself harder. I love how I feel when I'm done... the satisfaction of accomplishment and and every good thing I just did to add years to my life. The physical benefit spills over with endless reward. There is good result!

Why can't I take this passion I have in the physical realm of my life and begin to apply it to my relational life and maybe other areas too? Why does it seem harder for me in other areas? I can perservere physically most of the time no problem. I want to use this same principle with my relationships and see what happens. If my attitude stinks toward my family or friends because a relationship is strained or doesn't feel so good I can choose to change my thinking about it and do the good thing anyway, BELIEVING it makes a difference and will bring a healing effect OR I can sulk and dwell on negative patterns of thinking, do nothing and suffer further strain and harm in the realtionship.

(I realize this might be a no-brainer for you because it is something I too have know for years but it was especially eye-opening for me the other day).

My thought process continued... I must believe that the good and right choices I make especially in my relationships, even when I don't feel like it... no, ESPECIALLY when I don't feel like it... are accomplishing GREAT GOOD deep in the fibers of those relationships. It might not always feel good and I might not always see everything good that is happening but I MUST BE, AND CAN BE SURE that the good thing IS happening and accomplishing a beautiful healing effect. If consistent... the same way consistent exercise produces good health physically so consistent right choices and right thinking about those choices in realtionships will produce vibrant relational health, joy and life that is truly life.

Gods ways are the best ways. Sometimes if I'm honest I don't want to do things God's way, especially if I'm hurt or angry. When we slip and fall into our own ways (and isn't it interesting that we sometimes don't even see it coming) God can use those hard things to bring deeper meaning to life. As a wise person said to me... "He can redeem everything and use it for his purpose in greater ways if we let him... if we ASK him to". What hard things are you experiencing today? I hope you will turn it around and ask God what hidden gem is there.

I choose to believe the best today regardless of what hard thing is going on! One day at a time believing that the good choices I make for life are accomplishing MUCH for me and everyone around me! The key for me is BELIEVING!!! The following verse is not a favorite for me but if God gave it and He is good, I choose to rest in it. Let it roll around in your brain a while... I love the way it depicts that work is going on deep inside that we can't entirely see this side of heaven.

James 1:2-4 Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything.

Considering trouble a blessing... because it is!
Love and hugs!
Donna

A Breath of Fresh Air...

It's February! ... One month into the new year and how are those new year's resolutions for fitness coming along? I believe now is a good time for a motivational shot in the arm.

If you are healthy enough to exercise you are blessed indeed! Keeping mindful of that alone is enough motiviation for me. Phil 4:8 says... Think about things that are excellent! Your mind drives everything about you. Are you beginning to settle back into a lie that exercise is a drag? If so, crucify that thought and replace it with this one instead...

"Consider exercise a breath of fresh air and embrace every opportunity to exercise as a gift from God!"

Let's even consider exercise as a way to give God a great return on his investment in us to be the best we can. Our body is a gift from God and when it's strong will empower our lives and our impact. Pay attention to your body mechanics when you move... throw yourself into it and consider the potential of strength you are capable of simply because it is God who made you to function best through movement. When we pay attention to what's going on with our muscles, bones, heart, lungs and circulation when we engage in physical endurance as opposed to just going through the motions, the payoff is a hundred fold. Pack your mind with every good thing that is happening to your body as you move and watch your motivation soar! God will only bless you in your effort to be fit, strong and healthy! He wants it just as much as you do. Ask Him to bless your effort. Instead of thinking ..."I hate this! Oh, when is it over?" Think..."YES!!! My body is becoming stronger and I feel and look younger! Pressing on is what I really need!"

Get out there today and take it a notch above what you are currently doing. Push yourself just a little harder. Think about what it will take for you to get motivated and then give yourself that gift... It might be joining a club, or purchasing a new pair of running shoes, or finding some friends who you can set a goal with together. I plan to run a race in July this year for my 25 year high school reunion. I am so thrilled the committee decided to include a race as part of the reunion activities because it's motivating me to stay on it. Find out what it is for you and keep on it.

Think... healthy, youthful, attractive and ALIVE! Be free from the effects of life stress... which feel unhealthy, tense, hagard and depleated. Without giving yourself permission to have an outlet for stress through exercise and right thinking the harmful build up of stress will prematurely kill you. Exercise instead diffuses the effects of stress and gives a burst of life giving energy. Everything you do for yourself physically will overflow into every other area of life... you will notice a sharper focus mentally, emotionally, intellectually, socially and spiritually. That energy, those free flowing endorphins released by physical endurance were meant to be enjoyed by everyone God created. It's part of his design to charge you up for life!

Feeling better about exercise yet? I hope so! Renew your commitment to get up and do it for 2010... remember it always starts in the mind... so keep far away the lies that defeat our accomplishing victory and instead work hard and enjoy the beautiful effects inside and out.

Write down and hang up one of these quotes somewhere to keep you going...

"The pain of discipline is far less than the pain of regret." ~Sarah Bombell

"Do it now. You become successful the moment you start moving toward a worthwhile goal." ~Unknown

"Catch on fire with enthusiasm and people will come for miles to watch you burn." ~John Wesley

Stay on it!
Loving always!
Donna

Live a Life of Love and Know Love!

I did it! I am officially the proud owner of a permanent new friend. It is etched on the inside of my left ankle... yes... it's a tattoo! :O) Rick and I decided to get tattoos last week during our time in Colorado. His is etched on his right shoulder. We were surprised to discover that Christian leaders who visit the ranch decide to mark the occasion in similar ways... many times marking it with a tattoo. (another item to check off my bucket list... yay!)

The tattoo was a fun yet painful experience, but more importantly now is the meaning behind the "mark". I'm surprised how much mine means to me... it depicts the image of a dove with a glowing halo behind it and 1John 4:18-19 etched above. The dove and halo symbolize "freedom and light" while the verse reminds me that perfect love expels all fear!

My Perfect Love challenged me deeper last week. No... I mean really deep! I ventured out with a new prayer in my heart... "That I live a life of love and that I know love!" Simple, but not really! That's the way it always is with God I think... most of what he requires seems simple but it runs so much deeper than we know.

My plan is to show up every day just to be the object of his love believing life begins and ends here, and like a peaceful flowing river, allow His presence and truth to calmly wash me over. So, here is part of what God planted in and brought up out of my heart last week...

The furious love of God knows no shadow of alteration or change. It is reliable and always tender. His love is never based on performance, never conditioned by our moods of elation or depression. There is the "me" that people see-- then there is the "rest of me." When I can stand with the reality of the "rest of me" and not feel shame then I know better the love of God. "My name is Donna Wagner and I am ________... ouch.... How I got there, how I left there, and how I returned is part of the story of my life... BUT IT IS NOT THE WHOLE STORY!
(the above thoughts come from a great book called "The Furious Longing of God"... by Brennan Manning... pick up a copy, please!).

The reality is we all have "ouch" but none of the "ouch" has defining power. Do you believe that? Wow! I struggle with it... my list of "ouch" is long and well... "ouch". If we believe... really believe that the "ouch" has no defining power we are FREE from fear to be real with each other and less shocked and judgmental of each others "ouch" and can compassionately love and help to heal each other the way God does. I think that's what God had in mind... isn't that why he says DO NOT JUDGE! Because we are all in the same boat... duh! (I say that to myself there). It makes his grace truly amazing doesn't it? Maintaining this perspective prevents us from being fake and from trying to impress each other with our "togetherness".

I came to the conclusion since GOD loves me that's all I need and He frees me to be REAL. I recall times people have been real with me and how refreshing to my soul those times have been. So much more than when people try to impress. Don't you think? People who know they are REALLY LOVED just the way they are can be real and really love. Be warned though... knowing you are the object of his love WILL change you... it has to, it can't and won't leave you the same. That's real life; that's real adventure.

I am convinced if I make love my goal I cannot go wrong. It runs deep and is a dangerous prayer really. I know that... but the healing light runs even deeper and will have a ripple effect that I dare not miss.

1John 4:18-19
Such love has no fear because PERFECT LOVE expels all fear. If we are afraid it is for fear of judgment, and this shows that His love has not been perfected in us. We love each other as a result of His loving us first.

Hoping His love will be perfected in YOU!
Donna :O)

I'll try to get a photo up of my "oh so wonderful tattoo"... :O)

Ok... So the drama of my life continues...

I grieve that I recently quit my job! Oh, do I hurt over that... I quit because FOCUS is the word for the day... FOCUS on other issues in my life. When life changes abruptly a sadness sometimes sets in and creates a need to heal, accept and find contentment in the unwelcome change.

Great waves of regret knock me down and threaten to drown me. I confess, I made this decision during high emotional turmoil... not wise. Not sure why I was deaf to the wisdom tucked in my heart that says, "sit still when emotion runs high... no sudden turns when the hurt runs deep." No, I just charged ahead and made a wrong turn...bummer. But, what's done is done. God still sits sovereign on the throne of my life. He will work this out for good. There's work to be done in my life and he is doing it ruthlessly--ouch!

The wise person in my shoes would probably have a grand perspective in this same situation. The wise person might say..."Hey, wow... maybe God is trying to do a new thing! How exciting!" All I can honestly say right now is... "This sucks! I hurt! Why did this have to happen? What have I done? I'm soooo dumb! Ugh!!!"

One of our pastors gave an excellent and timely sermon on grieving last week. Grieving the loss of a job was one example he used. I especially resonated with a practice he shared from ancient Jewish customs which allows a mourner to do nothing for 7 days but sit alone and cry. The Jewish people of that day understood the need to process loss. Anyone who wanted to comfort the mourner was not allowed to say anything but only come along side and cry too.

I know that sounds extreme in my case, but something about simply crying, accepting the reality that it IS a loss, not just something I must accept and get over, but allowing myself to experience release through tears and letting go can bring freedom. It's as if God were giving me permission to create space and time to do nothing else but grieve my loss and that he would be right there crying along with me... not to give me advice or to remind me to have faith, but just to gently understand that loss hurts. I love Him!

So whenever I feel I need to, I sit and cry and will continue until my heart grows stronger. God is good! And when I'm ready, I will go back to work... Yay.

Next week Rick and I are off to Colorado for some much needed retreat and refreshment. So you may or may not hear from me next week. Have a great week!

Love much!!!
Donna

Just FYI for my readers....

My latest post is titled "NEW BEGINNINGS" When I was ready to publish, it came up below my post from last week. So keep scrolling down below last weeks post until you get to "New Beginnings" OK Thanks! Have a great day!

A Matter of the Heart.... Part II

Sitting in my safe place, I find myself reflecting as I look out the window watching my dog frolick in the new fallen snow. Being a puppy he has never experienced snow before, so I feel joy watching him discover this strange, cold, white stuff. The snow is so deep he must jump up to run through it. With snow covering his snout, he looks back at me like a child hoping to be noticed. My daughter realizes he is outside and finds the same joy as she takes notice of him. She giggles, we make eye contact, smile, and then she takes it a step further. She finds her boots and coat and joins him in the fun. I laugh to myself, sip my tea and enjoy watching them experience such freedom and simplicity... longing sets in deep somewhere in my heart and I reflect deeper.

In my last post, I thought on the heart's tendency to be deceitful and cause pain, but the heart is also a bold place of deep longings and dreams. God-given dreams that he wants to unfold and see emerge for His glory and our good. Sometimes moments like the above can awaken our senses and remind us that we have dreams and longings that have been ignored over the years. Would dreams spring to life if simplicity and freedom marked our lives? Busyness demands every ounce of energy we have and steals away precious time. Once time is gone, it's gone! The reality of how swift time slips away has been scaring me lately.

I ask myself... is the busyness worth it? What am I doing to fill my time? What is stealing my time? I am ready as 2010 approaches. I have already set things up to create new space and time for cultivating deep God-given longings and dreams. I plan to keep writing. Writing is a dream I have had for years and never stopped long enough to consider taking it seriously. I am starting there. I have other dreams too. Photography and painting are two more. Learning ballet, and yet another silly one... getting a tattoo. :O) What about you? Are you looking inside? Are you listening to the deep longings and dreams that God has placed there? They are there for a reason. God has work he wants to do through you and your giftedness. Take time to look at your life and don't let busyness steal it anymore.


OK.... I have been on deep topics lately... I am in deep places. Next post I'll be getting back to fitness! Just a side note... Today I did one of the most challenging work-outs I have ever done... (nothing like a good challenge to tackle stress). If you get a chance go out and get the DVD "Biggest Loser Workout...Cardio Max". No joke, it's tough stuff... you WILL lose weight if you stick with this! My legs are spaghetti today. I LOVE IT!

Until next time...keep dreaming and believing!

~Donna