A Matter of the Heart

Driving in the dark, down an empty highway after midnight the powerful reality of what I had done cut deep in my heart. The tears welled up and blurred my vision. My gut was tied up in a hundred knots as I began to think through the consequences of my choices. My mind began to race as I tried hard to trace back to the point when my choices veered off onto the slippery slope. "HOW DID I GET HERE?"

Then just as quickly as I asked the question out loud, truth spoke almost as if I heard an audible voice.

"The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure... who can understand it?"

Surprisingly, a sense of judgment and condemnation did not come over me, but instead a sense of compassion and intense longing and love as if God was gently revealing not only this amazing truth, but also of his ability to be in control. Driving along the empty highway was just where he wanted me to be at this exact moment in time. A gentle reminder overcame me as I realized the state of my heart. Your heart will deceive you every time if you let it, my love. I long to be the keeper of your heart. Give it back to me once again. It constantly must be bathed in grace and truth. Follow hard after me. You won't be disappointed. No matter how mature you think you might be in your faith, or how badly your mistake, do well to remember the heart is beyond cure... beyond understanding. Keep it with me. Understand my unmerited grace and the agony of the cross my Son gladly bore for you. Just put "that" right there.

As I let "that" go a deep movement of His grace poured out and I felt His jealous love for me fill in the empty places. This is real freedom. He is all I need. I must get up, learn from this and keep looking up when looking in takes me places I should not go.

Romans 8:1
There is therefore, now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Lamentations 3:22
Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."

John 10:10
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy... I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.

Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.

Romans 8:38-39
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present or the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anythng else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.