Limbic Dance

This time of year always tries to press me into the mold of a harried, stressed out woman who strives for the perfect Christmas celebration for my family. I say "tries" because I am often surprised that, though I do feel stress, I don't seem to mind it as much as I do at other "ordinary" times of the year.

I wonder if it could be that the stress I experience preparing for Christmas is simply more "worth it" because I am anticipating something meaningful to come. Something I long for and need more than I realize and can't always quickly put my finger on. The meaningful something, I finally realize when I ponder long enough, is connection. Connection on a deeper level. Not only my own need for connection, but my desire and ability to create meaningful connections for my family and friends. And ultimately experiencing a deeper connection with God. God, who set things up when he prepared for thousands of years and then ushered in the very first Christmas miracle. He did it all in anticipation of connecting deeply with me and you.

Connecting is the beautiful dance of life... it's what we all long for. Christmas preparation sets the stage for meaningful, memorable connections to happen on Christmas Day. But what about the rest of the year? Do I slow down enough to really connect with others and with God? All of life is meant for making meaningful connections... not just at Christmas.

Meaningful connections are not only important but are extremely vital if we want to thrive, especially in the latter years of life. When our lives are nothing but running and striving we miss out. We reach a healthier balance when we slow down and experience emotions of love, joy, pleasure and play. When we connect with each other.

Reading up in my latest choice health and wellness book..."Younger Next Year"... I was intrigued with the following thoughts about connecting...
Did you know the brain has a magical place where the "connecting emotions" play out. This magical place is called the limbic brain. The limbic brain reads the real world and makes emotions out of it. Little happens in our limbic brain when we look at trees or rocks, but when we look at people, people's faces in particular, something explosive happens in the brain. When we look at people we look with a hungry intensity for connection. Functional MRI scanning shows massive sections of the brain waking up to process the information when we are looking at someones face. The limbic brain is devoted to absorbing and interpreting every nuance of facial expression. When a listener leans in to take interest in what we are saying, when we feel a soft touch of understanding or a smile of acceptance and pleasure, this tuning in emotionally creates a great circle of chemistry and a beautiful limbic dance happens either between two people or between a group of people. It is an extraordinary process and happens every second we spend with people. When we tune into each other we effect each other's moods. We have the power to change each other's moods and the experience feels good... or at least it should. We cannot do without the limbic dance of life.

For so many of us the limbic dance becomes optional or just simply too much work. I admit, sometimes it feels really good, other times it just seems awkward and unpleasant. Regardless of negative experiences I am convinced giving up is not a healthy option. I think so often people just don't know what to do to build meaningful relationships. Do we try to make it too complicated? When I ask myself what I need from friends/family the answer is simple... to be listened to and cared about. If that's what I need then I can also give that out. I don't have to have long complicated answers to people's issues, just a few engaging questions, a shoulder to lean on, ears to hear and a heart that genuinely cares.

I'm convinced being healthy means realizing relationships matter and need to be cultivated. I feel a new urgency to exercise not only my physical muscles this year but now too my limbic muscles for deeper stronger connections. It's a must for survival and delivers fantastic pay off if I don't give up. I look forward to finding new ways ways to givie myself and others the gift of a limbic dance not only at Christmas but all year long.

Let's connect, commit and be young!

~Donna