Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Stop Giving Up on Dreams and Instead See Them Come True!


Picture yourself as you approach the end of 2015 with every goal you set for the year accomplished!!  Every fitness goal, every financial goal, every career goal and every family/friendship goal...  

Could you handle that for 2015? or... are you rolling your eyes as you dismiss such ideas as completely impossible and not likely to happen?  Why do you settle for believing it's no use and give up not bothering to think through how you might like to see yourself make new changes in 2015? Is it because...

*You've tried that before and "failed"?

*It seems like too much work or do the ideas seem too big to accomplish?

*You have lost all motivation and don't care anymore?

*You feel too old or too young?

*You've been hurt or betrayed too many times?

*You have too much responsibility?

We've all had thoughts and experiences like these and no doubt they can cause us to get stuck.  But how can we turn those huge obstacles around and have hope for positive change for a brand new year?

Ask 3 questions!!!

What are these 3 questions you ask?  Let me answer that after I share 2 stories with you...

A young man asked Socrates the secret to success. Socrates told the young man to meet him near the river the next morning. They met. Socrates asked the young man to walk with him toward the river. When the water got up to their neck, Socrates took the young boy by surprise and ducked him into the water. The boy struggled to get out but Socrates was strong and kept him there until the boy started turning blue.  Socrates pulled his head out of the water and the first thing the boy did was to gasp and take a deep breath of air. Socrates asked: "What did you want the most when you were there?" The boy replied: "Air!" Socrates said: "That is the secret to success. When you want success as badly as you want the air, then you will get it.  There is no other secret.

Another story...
The question was once asked of a highly successful business man, "How have you done so much in your lifetime?" He replied, "I grow great by dreams, I have turned my mind loose to imagine what I wanted to do. Then I have gone to bed and thought about my dreams. In the night I dreamt about my dreams. And when I awoke in the morning, I saw the way to make my dreams real. While other people were saying, "You can't do that, it is impossible," I was well on my way to achieving what I wanted." I took time to see things in the soft haze of a spring day, or in the red fire on a long winter's evening. Some let their dreams die, but I chose to nourish and protect them; nourish them through bad days until they are brought into the sunshine and light which comes always to those who sincerely hope that their dreams will come true. Sing your songs, and dream your dreams, hope your hope and pray your prayer.

If there's no limit to what a dreamer can dream why not give it a try? 

There are a million stories online of people who dared to dream and find out dreams do come true. As you start reading these stories you will find yourself motivated and resolved in your belief that it's never worth it to give up on your dreams.

Back to 3 questions... Start dreaming now by asking these 3 questions... 
In 6 months...
What do I want to HAVE?!
What do I want to BE?!
What to do I want to DO?!

Don't hold back... dream big! As you imagine and envision achieving a goal and get into the emotional feeling of experiencing the dream as a NOW reality you will be well on your way to achieving what you want.  This is what successful goal setters do... they dream, they take action and they stay focused.

How do you stay focused?? Write down what these dreams will cost and what steps you want to take NEXT WEEK to start moving in the right direction. Make your steps practical and do-able. Writing things down, visiting your dreams often and taking specific steps forward will keep your dreams alive. Just like the successful business man..."you will grow great by your dreams."  You will also have fun as you practice your new interest in developing a lively imagination and you will find new inspiration and guidance about how to keep taking steps in the right direction.  When you check steps off, keep updating new steps each week to keep you moving forward. Have fun with it!

Just practicing this one discipline for 5 minutes a day is a guaranteed way to usher you to a place next year feeling surprised that every goal you set has been accomplished. You'll also feel resolved to keep believing in your dreams and to dream new dreams for the rest of your life.



Make a dream journal today and get ready for 2015!! 




Sunday, November 16, 2014

The ONE Thing That Prevents Success in Goal Setting




The ONE Thing that Prevents Achievement in Goal Setting


Have you ever had a desire or a goal and instead of it giving you hope or joy it causes all kinds of doubt and fear to rise up? You doubt you'll ever see it manifest and you feel extreme jealousy when others do succeed in developing their desires.  That never feels very good does it?... and it certainly never gets us anywhere either.






No matter what your goal if your belief about it is negative you most likely will not see results.  At least I know that has always been my experience. What I believe about it, will end up being what I experience and I usually just give up and forget it. A grumbling and negative mindset is like an annoying detour that slows down our arriving at a desired destination every time.



















Getting specific... this is what happens 9 out of 10 times with people who set fitness and wellness goals, myself included. However, the last several years I have been looking more closely at my attitude regarding my goals whether physical goals, job-oriented goals, friendship goals, family relationship goals etc... and I am convinced attitude is EVERYTHING!


When we have a desire and our beliefs and emotions and mindset do not "match" the desire, or in other words the goal does not bring eagerness, excitement and hope but instead brings frustration, anger, a stressful striving after or irritating impatience because we fear we will never achieve our goals then we end up defeated before we even get started...we are way "off" and we don't even realize it. In that dreary senario we most likely will never achieve anything. That's why I think most of us never see answer to prayer. We go into our prayer saying the right words but our heart and faith are far from matching those right words. We say for example, "Dear God, Would you please help me figure out how to pay all these bills?" but at the same time our hearts are no where near to believing he even hears let alone would actually answer and show us what to do. We focus on frustration rather than joyfully looking around to see how he might already be answering. I can't help but think about the Scripture that says.. "When you ask for anything in prayer believe that you have already received it and it will be yours." and other verses say...  "Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." And then also there are ideas in Scripture that talk about doubting and how we should not think that we will get anything if we doubt.  What in the world does that mean other than God really cares about our mindset, our faith and our belief about what we are asking for and setting goals for.  If it's that important to him it should be that important to us!!

So how do we get there? I'm no expert but here are some ideas I have tried and am happy to say they seem to be working.

1. Act like the goal or desire I have is already a done deal and it's easy and already on its way... just like other things that are already manifest in my life that I didn't stress about getting... Like the beautiful home I live in or the awesome job and family I already have. I just choose to believe it's already mine. Right now I'm hoping for a flatter belly...LOL...  I know it's kinda vain but it's also about my health. When our gut is bloated something's up and we should desire to change it. I'm already on my way... down 5 pounds this week and feel less bloated. Woooo Hoooo! Gonna keep good feeling thoughts about it and even if I see the "pooch" on any given day I won't stress and go psycho about it. I will choose to see something different.

2. I match not only my belief but my emotion. I think through what it would feel like to have what I desire and then practice those happy feelings as I go through and pray/meditate over my list of current desires.  I know that might seem weird but the alternative is for sure no better. If I can practice things that help train my brain to be more positive why wouldn't I do that?? So much better than wallowing around and reinforcing negative thoughts and habits. I don't want to be about complaining and being negative.

3. I ask... I believe in prayer and I believe in the Scripture that says... "Without faith it is impossible to please God and that anyone who comes to him must believe he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him." and again... "When you ASK... BELIEVE you have already RECEIVED.

4. Visualize the goal as reality. I did this a lot while I was training for my marathon in October. I not only try to feel the emotion of it being real but I also visualize myself experiencing the success. It never failed to usher  me into a deeper place of peace, contentment, joy and excitement for what would for sure become reality in my life. This is an amazing practice for getting yourself out of a slump or depressed place. It really works.

5. Root yourself into the present moment and enjoy the journey. This is the place where life is lived... We cannot bring back the past or experience the future so why stress about it? Whether or not my goals are reality right now I can practice getting centered and breathe right here right now and appreciate everything around me and where I am in life right now. Be thankful. I think being thankful  helps root us deeper into life and life that is in this present moment. I have things going on later today that keep trying to rob me of THIS wonderful moment of writing this post. I love writing and am practicing right now the joy of this moment. When it's time to enter into what's going on later I will embrace it in the now.


I help people set physical goals for themselves and I know and have seen the ones that are successful are the ones who believe they can do it. They are content about their goals and don't stress if the results are not quite there yet... they KNOW the results are on the way... how could they not be? And they celebrate every success whether it's choosing and apple over chips at lunch or getting through a challenging workout. They train their minds to think positive and are convinced the good choices are doing them good!!  It's never an unpleasant effort or striving to achieve. If that is what is feels like for you I challenge you to get easier and lighter about it in your thinking. See yourself now as beautiful and wonderful and the amazing miracle that you are.  Wake up and get a ritual going of asking and believing and feeling good emotion about your desires. Know that what you are doing, the steps you are taking... eating good nutrition and getting activity WILL make a difference. Don't say things like "What's the use? I'm too far gone." etc... because what you say and believe will be.

YOUR MENTAL TRAINING IS JUST AS
IMPORTANT AS YOUR PHYSICAL TRAINING! 














Tuesday, October 21, 2014

One Girl's Marathon Reflections




One Girl's Marathon Reflections



Why in the world would you ever run a marathon? That sounds like hell! I hate running. I don't run! There are better ways to get your cardio. Every runner I know gets injured. Running is not an effective way to work-out. Good luck with that! Have you seen how scrawny long-distance runners look? Don't you know the original dude who ran the first marathon died? You could die you know!



Everywhere I turned early on in my decision to run a marathon it seemed I'd get some similar response like the above. After a while I just had to laugh and be ok knowing that running simply is not for everyone.  But for me... Well, I kinda thought so too after spending time as a runner in an earlier season of my life and then getting away from it to pursue others ways of staying active. Even so, I knew running the marathon distance was still a dream I longed to fulfill.  I was getting closer to the age I promised myself I would NOT reach before checking this off my bucket list so I decided 2014 would be the year I hyper-focused on this one fitness challenge. 

I know not everyone wants to run this distance but if you've ever thought it over I say if you WANT to do it, you CAN and you SHOULD!!! I recall reading a Hal Higdon book and being moved with the notion he shared that running a marathon "WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE!" Now that I'm on the other side I couldn't agree more...

Everyone's journey is different, but for me it started with making a decision to take a step forward. Sometimes taking that step requires encouragement from someone else who believes in you. For me that person was a fellow trainer, sweet friend, and 7 time marathon runner Debby. She saw the longing in me, along with my fears and doubts and she graciously encouraged me to go for it. "Just sign up for the lottery drawing and if your name is drawn then you'll know it's your destiny!" So that was it! Three months later destiny decided I would be running a marathon. I had 8 months to get ready. Life was about to get very serious.

Debby and me at the finish line! 

Right away I decided to step up my weekly mileage. I became discouraged and fearful to find that running just 3 lousy miles left me completely exhausted. What the heck!! I'm a pretty fit girl, running was never this hard for me before.  I saw a quote that same day that renewed my hope and quickly became my new mantra... "Today's challenge will soon become tomorrow's warm-up." I certainly hope so!! If not, I'm in big trouble! I kept after it and longed to prove to myself that I could rock running at least six miles at a time with no problem!!  Maybe so, but then I started to notice my knees were aching and walking up or down stairs killed me!  My friend Debby noticed me hobbling up the stairs one day and reminded me of the vital importance of keeping the training more gradual.

"If you feel pain you gotta back off!" 
 "Don't risk getting injured because then you're out!" 
"You have plenty of time to work up to those longer runs... 
trust me!" 
She was absolutely right!! Running should be a gradual thing never something you push yourself beyond what you are ready for. Respect your limits and be encouraged that your body can and will do more in the future as a result of what you ease your way into doing today.
  What I do today will determine what I CAN AND WILL do tomorrow. (Mantra number 2).



One of the reasons I started at all was to see what I could train my body to do... The potential of the human body amazes me, but if I ever wanted to see progress I would need to back up and train it right and respect it's present limits. I was getting ahead of myself and getting discouraged! Instead I started feeding my mind to believe that the present training effect would progressively be the key to carry me to the next level. Every run would prepare me for the next.




I quickly began to understand that my mental training was just as important as my physical training. Maybe even more so! I've always been a contemplative and deep thinking person so I really resinated with authors who spoke about practicing mindfulness techniques as a vital part of the running discipline.  I was intrigued with ideas about visualizing. To successfully be in it for the long haul they suggested visualizing yourself going there, and to accompany the visual practice with emotional feelings.  Emotionally feel yourself experience any and every positive good feeling associated with accomplishing the goal.


Me choosing happiness in China town.

I decided to try practicing this idea on and off the road. Out on the road I was floored to find that EVERY time I began to feel pain or fatigue and would choose to dismiss it and instead to try thinking about a warm, healing sensation, or to just change my attitude, smile, and get happy about it.  Nine out of ten times, I swear the pain would subside... or maybe areas of my body would just go numb after realizing I wasn't giving up. Whatever it was, the "coincidence" of mindful intentionality and the renewed strength I experienced was my reality!! It worked! So the practice for me was a keeper!



"Believe that success is your only option!"
(mantra number 3).




A few weeks into the bulk of the training the reality of the hard work required smacked me hard in the face. You would have seen me crying on the trail often. I wondered if there was ever a time when the training might be too much?  Reading books on the subject always kept me motivated!  One author said.. "You gotta let your muscles know who's boss!!" I totally agreed, then he also said,  "...at the same time you gotta know how to listen carefully too... " I was encouraged to learn it's a give and take, a balancing strategy that takes precisely the right amount of discernment to know when you have tipped the scale just slightly beyond your training threshold. Pain is needed! But just enough to slightly pass your present threshold. Don't push past this in training. The only time you would push past it is on race day. You gradually inch your training up to 18-20 miles, then race day is when those last 6.2 miles requires grueling it out, digging in, and getting mad as you stare down the miles and believe you can get it done!!   In training I discovered~
"Pain is inevitable, misery an option."No more crying!! 
(mantra number 4).

Along with all the hard work became the importance of recovery. Doing what I could to speed up recovery would become a vital part of the training. Eating enough protein and carbs, resting and napping after a long run, ice packs on sore knees and hips, a therapeutic massage, a session with a chiropractor, foam rolling, yoga stretching, getting in the pool and even a few trips to a physical therapist were all ways I decided I would invest in pursing strong recovery periods.  I used my recovery times as an opportunity to take it all in~ to celebrate success, to treat myself special, reward hard work and to find the balance between hard work and appropriate rest.

Deeper into the training I unfortunately ran into personal life drama and almost dropped out and abandoned my dream of accomplishing the marathon distance. But how could I do that? By that time running had become as therapeutic as a good friend. It helped me escape the stuff of life in a healthy way. Life can be hard and bad things can happen. I gave myself permission instead to keep carving out the time to let go for a while and use it as a outlet for stress.   It helped me clear my mind and fill up with present moment awareness.  I discovered life is lived in the present moment with running. There is no past or future to think or worry about. I thought only of this step, this mile, this moment and I wanted to appreciate everything around me and everything in me. From the feel of the pavement under my feet, to the friends and strangers surrounding me, to the feel of deep breathing and the strength of muscles and bones working hard, to the little critters that dart in and out of the bushes along the trail and people's dogs that look up with longing as they pass by. Sometimes petting the dogs was a good excuse too... to stop for a little break.  There was nothing like it when I felt I was in my groove during a run with deep mindful appreciation.


Debby, me and Grace after our 16 miler!
Speaking of friends... I was amazed at how much quicker and easier a long run became when accompanied by friends.  Without Debby and Grace kicking me in the butt like only friends can I'd have been cheating myself for sure! Even getting "likes" on a simple Facebook status update about my running filled me with hope.  Since I was experiencing how good and empowering it was to be encouraged why would I ever hesitate to give it out? I seriously found the more I intentionally gave it out the more it seemed to come back to me.  Not only my friends but complete strangers on the trail week after week just simply acknowledging my presence out there with them filled my heart with strength. Encouragement is something I think the running community just seems to get and know about each other. We're out there together and we understand the pain and challenge this running journey is all about. We send out good vibes to each other and somehow it helps! Send out your good vibes!! We need each other!

Grace and I on race day waiting in the crowd.

Encouragement especially displayed itself like a grand finale on race day!!  There is nothing like the excitement and the strength of the people cheering you on the entire way if you choose to run the Chicago Marathon!! Holy cow!! That love will carry me all year!

Seeing my family at the finish! Best feeling ever!! 





Most of all I found running to be a journey of discovery. Several times I found myself stressing and getting obsessed with the training schedule. When that happened the joy in it would dry up and it would become a struggling effort toward a bothersome task rather than a joyful journey towards faith in what was for sure (as Debby said) "my destiny."Ha Ha!  It reminded me that, similar to most things in life, the training schedule was not meant to be obsessed over but was a guide that is meant to help me find the way. Taking it literally and becoming obsessed with one right way to do something would most likely just get me in trouble and become burdensome. It's a journey... MY journey and I could decide to tweak whatever was necessary to help find the perfect experience for me!  It became an art not a science. I was amazed that my friend Debby decided to back way off in her training about 6 weeks out before the race. "Are you sure?" I would ask... She had a nagging pain in her hip and she all but stopped running for 3 weeks. She knew all about what she needed in her journey and she confidently used the wisdom she knew about training as a guide not an absolute in avoiding injury and successfully completing her race. Learning this helped me relax more and back off too when I suffered my own hip and knee issues.


Crossing the finish line was better than I imagined!
Lastly, I knew if I wanted to cross the finish line successfully on race day I'd have to want it bad enough. Life is hard and busy and sometimes makes the training process difficult to stay committed to. It's so easy to just give up.  The marathon was my main goal for the year and even though some thought it not worthy of being a goal, I felt differently about it. I knew it would change my life and be worthy of accomplishing! I had to rearrange things, say no sometimes, and order other things to make space for what I needed to do. In other areas of life it's the same way... I have to decide what I really want to do and consider how it might change my life for the better, then hyper-focus there and not allow the tyranny of the unimportant or other peoples' different opinions to cloud my vision of what I decide to do. It taught me to be more intentional to dig deep and always be in tune with what's going on in me, to set a goal and to be ok with going for it before life slips away. 





I had so much fun setting the marathon as my goal this year, so much that I want to set another goal for next year.  Do you have a goal for next year?? I have a few ideas brewing and can't wait to get started!!