Number One Ingredient for Success!

My first response is usually frustration when my children don't measure up to my expectations. But this morning when my son missed the bus AGAIN something inside me, almost like an invisible shield stopped me in my tracks warning me of the terrible mistake I'd make and great opportunity I'd miss if I chose to have a knee jerk response. I took a deep breath and  wondered how things were going for him in general. I knew he had had a couple rough days recently and that with busy schedules I hadn't had much connecting time with him. So with a sincere desire to simply connect with him I decided not to lecture and nag but to calmly let him know I would be happy to take him to school.

Our conversation on the way to school revealed he has been struggling in his first hour chemistry class. We talked about his patterns of the past and his tendency to shut down when overwhelmed. It was a great opportunity to bring up and offer him some ideas I have been using which I've found to be extremely helpful in just about any area of life... 

Watching my son grow up one thing that I know, that I know, that I know about him is he has incredible potential! The way this kid can focus and get determined is amazing. His problem like most of the rest of us is buried deep in his "mental models". Mental models shape every aspect of our lives. Most of us don't think big enough.... our mental models of the world stop us. 

I tried to share with my son that he needs to move beyond his limited thinking that chemistry is just too hard. "Don't you remember".... I reminded him, "when you first started driving how nervous you were and how you kept telling yourself... 'I can't do it'. When I told you it was all in your head and instead to begin believing in yourself by being convinced that driving was no biggie and of course it's something you can do... it was then that you were able to relax about it and start to improve! Look at you now.... confidently driving by yourself all because you dismissed negative thoughts and replaced them with a successful vision of yourself driving and a mental model that ushered you into a better place."

Let's think it through. Isn't the key to attaining what you want mostly about desire. For my son... I asked him do you really want to pass chemistry? He does...cool. The next step is developing the confidence and the will to get it done. Get the right mental model about it... Feeding a negative thought process is what limits us, brings failure and frustration. There's an energy, I believe, that we emit though our thoughts and feelings that will attract corresponding circumstances. If my son resorts to believing he isn't smart enough for chemistry chances are he'll fail. I encouraged him to change that thought and envision himself confident about mastering the concepts and doing whatever it takes to ensure his own success. Not only to envision it but imagine and allow himself to feel the emotions that accompany his ability to succeed. 

Doesn't the Bible admonish us to THINK about everything that is good, right, excellent, and true and urges us to believe and have faith? Why? Because that is where life is lived. In our thoughts and our beliefs about the way it is.... What we think, we will be... It seems pretty simple to me. 

Have you ever been around a negative, faith-less person? Can you feel the negative toxicity all around them... Don't they almost emit a bad energy that is almost contagious? Pretty soon you begin complaining along with them. Most of the negative things they moan about end up manifesting in their lives because that is what they choose to focus on, what they choose to expend energy on. They allow their fear to guide their lives... But find yourself in the company of a positive, humble, peaceful and faith-filled person and the energy you feel from them immediately fills you with life, hope and desire to get after life with the same peace, humility and faith.

I shared a story with my son... I was faced with a challenging class in college... English Literature. I had never read such high level books before and was really struggling wrapping my brain around the language. I failed the first exam, as the teacher passed back the exams he shared his concerns and reminded everyone of the option of dropping the class before it was too late. I knew he was talking to me and I found myself after class in a bathroom stall crying because I did not want to give up. I determined on my walk back to my dorm room I would not give up and all I needed to do was to change my thinking... I could not waste time on negative self-defeating thoughts but filled my mind with confident, believing determination. I can grasp the ideas in this book and I will finish strong! I worked harder in that class than probably any other class in my four years of college an ended up with a "C"... a "C" I was very proud of!!  I believe the professor passed me mainly because he sensed my determination and tenacity to not give up and rewarded me for it. Or maybe he just felt sorry for me... ha! ha! But hey, there's no denying I pushed through because of right thinking and I passed!!! I envisioned future success and made it happen.  

Do you believe the circumstances in your life right now are a direct result of the way you think? Change your mind and change your world. The direction we are headed can be 
altered. What do you want to do or be or have? Can we attract those realities in life by developing the right mental model? 

In the Bible Jesus says some peculiar things...  In Mark 11:22 he says... "Listen to me! You can pray for anything , and if you believe, you will have it." He also says if we have faith as small as a mustard seed we can say to a mountain throw yourself in the sea and it will obey.  It seems a little impossible right?  The emphasis I think he's trying to get across is "faith"... When we pray we have taken the time to bring to mind what we desire/need and then we present it to God in prayer... but it can't stop there. We have to believe in what we desire and have faith and determination that what we ask for is already ours. (Jesus words, not mine!) Our lack of faith and negative thought process will only delay life circumstances from lining up according to our desire/need. When we are unbelieving and full of fear and negativity that's what we attract into our lives because that's what we expend energy on! WHY?? Seems ridiculous.  Jesus also said over 300 times DO NOT FEAR!!! Why not expend energy on what is true, right, noble, excellent and praise worthy and attract those things into our life instead?  It just makes sense!  What we think is what we are... Romans 12:1 says "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world but be TRANSFORMED BY THE RENEWING OF YOUR MIND". Think right and live right!  Change your thoughts and change your world!